Sunday, September 13, 2009

Another "you just can't make this up!"

Edit/Disclaimer: I've been studying the site I reference below, and no one seems to know if it's real or satirical.

On to my original post.


I just found this on the interweb... on a "conservative" "Christian" site. I'm leaving out their URL because they don't deserve your traffic We are proud to be the object of the insane diatribe.
That big gay ice cream man. "The only thing he wants to deliver... is abduction, disease and shame."


Homogay Agenda Uses New Big Gay Ice Cream Trucks To Trick Children

September 3, 2009 by XXXXX
Filed under Faith Links, Featured, Gay Agenda, Parenting, Videos

As summer winds down and parents relax their guard, the homosexual agenda has unveiled its latest plot to covertly slide their fornicated lifestyles into our children: gay ice cream trucks.

Granted that they have no qualms with violating the sanctity of marriage, it should not shock one’s heart to see living proof that homosexuals have no issues with violating the innocence of youth.

When children hear the siren calls of an ice cream truck, they can only imagine the cold, juicy Popsicle that will cool them down on a warm late summer’s evening.

What they don’t know is that the new pied paper of summer coolness is a gay man, and the only thing he wants to deliver to their life is abduction, disease and shame.

75% of homosexual men have a STI. For everyone one homosexual, four children get molested.

Children never think to see danger and would never expect that the neighborhood ice cream man presents a veiled threat that will ruin their lives. Dan Nordgren warned boys beware, for the gays are out to get you. How frightening it is to us parents to know the gays are always out on the prowl for our children?

As a parent I am very afraid of homosexuals, and you should feel the same way too. The gay palate is diverse in its tastes and has no bounds; what it craves more than anything, however, is the innocence of our children. Warning: The following video documentary is terrifying and shows the menage of new homosexual ice cream trucks. Please pray and then review this media as a family, following up the viewing with a discussion about the dangers of homosexuals and the bad things they like to do to children.


  1. This is really awful. I really hope it's a joke. Either way, it's baaaaad!

  2. I imagined a Geraldo Rivera voice reading the article and laughed so hard I cried.

    As a parent, I want my daughter to think for herself, not blindly agree with me. But then again, I might as well be homogay, voted for Kinky Friedman for governor in 2006, and random people in public ask me if I am a Jew (I'm a fair-skinned Latina). Should I fear conservative Christian website authors trying to abduct my child and taking her to a reeducation camp to be molested?

  3. Hmm.

    Seems to me most heterosexuals have no qualms about violating the sanctity of marriage, whereas most homosexuals want the chance to try to respect it.

    Overall STI rates in the heterosexual population aren't much different from that in the homosexual population, though the proportion of the specific STIs varies.

    Will these morons ever learn the difference between pedophiles and homosexuals? Look up the words people! Ignoring the difference is putting your children at more risk than any actual homosexual ever would. Gay men are attracted to MEN, and gay women to WOMEN. Children are neither. Ignorance is not bliss, it is ignorant, and dangerous.

    Lastly oddharmonic asks:
    "Should I fear conservative Christian website authors trying to abduct my child and taking her to a reeducation camp to be molested?"

    Depending on where you live, perhaps yes. The chances of that happening are a lot higher than of a typical homosexual doing anything even vaguely similar.

  4. What are they so terrified of in the video? The caramelized bacon? Oy vey. As far as I'm concerned, I can't WAIT to bring my kids to the Big Gay Ice Cream Truck!! : )

  5. Anonymous @ 7:22 AM: I'm in Dallas, so we joke about keeping an eye out for zealots with their own reeducation camps. So far we have not encountered anything weirder than a lady that followed us around a produce department before asking if we went to her church because my daughter looked like a girl she saw there. (No, but light-complected, blue-eyed kids are fairly common around here.)

    @Terry: my daughter was annoyed when I told her we'd have to plan a trip to NYC to patronize the Big Gay Ice Cream Truck. She wants to try the pear butter, but I want to try the bacon or another savory topping.

  6. I wonder if it has occurred to this conservative "Christian" that we nonheterosexuals like ice cream? Or that we do other, "normal" stuff like grocery shopping and watching the evening news? If you ask me, I think he/she/it NEEDS reeducation. Forget camp, I'm talking serious therapy!

  7. It's from Christwire, which specializes in very hard-edge satire. The right is too stupid to recognize it as satire original post is here:
    read some of their other articles and laugh yourself sick

  8. I'm gonna get me some "abduction, disease and shame" right now.

    Mmmm... Shame with sprinkles.

    I love my Big Gay Ice Cream Truck.

  9. Wow! If only I'd known you were using your ice cream to push your Homogay Agenda(tm) on me...

    This would almost be funny if it weren't so sad and depressing. Ugh.

    Anyway, on lighter notes-- I added my pictures to your Flickr pool and also realized that I really really want to try a Choinkwich with peanut butter added to it. Perhaps even crunchy peanut butter. I think that sounds amazingly delicious.

  10. Frankly I think that the reporter's microphone IS pornographic.

  11. I just thought the reporter was HOT!!! The ice cream looks yummy, too!


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